Heart Thoughts: Ongoing

I just read the story of Tiny Tate a few days ago, a little guy with Miller-Dieker Syndrome from Australia who just lost his battle at only 8 weeks old. And I was struck by the article at the outpouring of support and rally cries for his family. And it hit me-this is our every day. Not to take away from his story and his family. The reality is, that for many people, this is their every day.

And then again this evening, I read the blog of another acquaintance who is pregnant with her first sweet baby, and there are many concerns with the baby. And I cried. Because I can so identify with her thoughts and prayers.

I realize I have been more quiet on here for a while now. It hit me tonight that one reason is because: nothing is really changing for us.

We live this life every day. It's become our normal, but it is so far from normal. There are days that the thoughts and concerns of my heart are almost too heavy for me to bear. There are days I mourn all the things we can't do with her, the things we can't see her enjoy. (Did you know I've never heard her laugh? I've heard laughing-type noises, but I've never heard an actual, true, full-on laugh. That breaks my heart.) There are days I am just so exhausted from all it takes to be a good mom to her, and my others, and wife, and friend, that I can hardly stand it. But then I can't sleep, because my thoughts are too numerous and my heart is too heavy.

Yes, I am SO grateful for the things that she CAN do. For the almost-4 years that we have been blessed with her! For the tiniest of victories that seem SO big to us!

But certain times, I am reminded that everyday life for us is a struggle, an on-going day-by-day struggle. We have much to bear, and are faced with it daily. And when the day comes that we do NOT face this on-going daily struggle will not be better. For our struggle will remain, only it will be in the form of grief and loss.

So for now, we praise Him. Because no matter the circumstances, He is good. His grace is sufficient and His mercies are new every morning. (Oh how we cling to that!) He is strong to bear with us, and His grace is all the greater for us.