This is me. Hiding out in my room. Letting you in on a little special needs mom secret. I'm trapped. Here's how it happened.
I wasn't feeling well this morning. I got up and took my kids to school, and then came back home. Most normal people would lie down for a while, or rest on the couch. But Waverly had school this morning. Which means her teacher and the assistant are here. So while I am able to lie down in my bedroom, I still hear the bustle of people in my home. It's not quiet or peaceful. I feel stuck in my room because I can't go out, or I'll have to interact. I'd love to heat up my coffee, but I feel like I can't. I just don't feel up to interacting right now.
So although I'm resting, it's not exactly restful.
This doesn't happen often, but it sheds light on what it's like sometimes. I can never fully retreat in my own house. There is ALWAYS somebody here. And if not, Waverly is always here, and I've got to be keeping an ear and eye on her, so I can't fully check out either.
For 5 years it's been like this. Imagine how exhausting that is for the brain! I am in no way complaining about the nursing care we receive or the school services she gets. But sometimes the reality of what life looks like for us even in the small things hits me, with how different it truly is.