Thursday, January 30, 2014

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Tummy issues?

Waverly was having a hard time gaining weight, so we have had to increase the strength of her formula yet again (we increased it once back in September). As you may recall, at that time she struggled with bowel blockage issues, and it seems to be back again. She will do fine sometimes, and then other times when we check her stomach before her next feed, she's still got as much as 1/3 of her formula still in there and undigested. The good news is that she does seem to be gaining some weight, so that's good! Please pray that she would begin to digest and accept this new change, and if not, that it would be clear that we need to make some changes (and for clarity on what changes to make).

Along with this has come a few random times of vomiting. One such time occurred this past Monday evening. We were getting ready to head to a friend's house a few blocks away for dinner. Johnny and the big kids had already left (they were walking/riding bikes) and I was going to drive over with Waverly. Johnny had already loaded her stuff in the car, and I was in the kitchen getting something ready when I heard her cough in the next room. Her pulse ox alarmed that her oxygen was low, but we don't normally go running, since that happens frequently enough. Then it alarmed again, and I figured I should go check on her. She was laying on the couch gagging and struggling to breathe. I immediately grabbed her and got her to the ground on her side. She began to vomit, and I was hitting her back to try to help, while trying to look around for the suction. I realized it was out in the van, so I ran out to get it, then realized it didn't have the tip on it. I ran down to the basement and grabbed one, tore the paper off of it, and threw it on as soon as I could and started suctioning. It was a very scary moment because her oxygen was getting very low, and she was laying there blue and gagging. I couldn't help but wonder as I tried to comfort her if this was "it". "Could it really happen like this? She coughs then vomits and chokes, and she's gone in a matter of minutes?" The rest of my family was clueless, on their way to our friend's house. So close but so far away. I felt very alone in those few brief moments, wondering if I was watching her take her last breaths. Then what? Call them to come back home to our lifeless baby? It was a sobering and chilling evening.

She spent the rest of the evening laying on her side coughing up the vomit that had gotten into her lungs, with me right there suctioning it out every time. I held her very tight that night (I do most nights), grateful that God had spared her once again.

It's so surreal to me that we go through these moments with her on a far-too-often basis. Even though it's really not all that often, most parents would be scarred for a long time to have seen their child like that, yet that is our reality more often than we'd like. But once again, God was merciful, and we are thankful.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Christmas reflections ad pictures

Oh Christmas Day. Such a magical and exciting time for children (and exhausting time for parents!). Such a wonderful time to enjoy life. To indulge in good food. To spend extra time and attention on others. To savor time together. And savor we did. 

Earlier in the year, we had several instances where Waverly was very sick and things were uncertain. If I'm being honest, I wasn't sure that she would make it to Christmas. She was very sick and things could have gone either way. 

But obviously she did make it. And she was healthy this year! And, well, as you can probably tell from the lack of blog posts (even more than usual!), we thoroughly enjoyed the season. 

Holidays can be difficult for me. Any times of transition or memory are hard actually. It's hard not to think the "what ifs". To wonder if this will be our lady Christmas all together. To wonder what this new year will hold for Waverly and our family. But it's also a reminder of the many many blessings we have. Not just in another year and another holiday with our girl. But with all of our family and friends. Of all that God had been faithful in this past year. Even when things have been hard. And then I can look ahead to this new year and know that no matter what it brings, God's goodness and love will carry us once again. 

I love how Christmas is a celebration of Jesus. In a way, it brings everything to a culmination, all of life both past and present and future. No matter what happens, the pain and trials and struggle, Jesus came to bring salvation and redemption. He will make it all right again. Even in His coming all those years ago, there was a tainting of sadness as His coming was ultimately to die. But in that death comes life, True Life. Oh that we would each grasp that truth and hold on to it dearly through the whole year.