Hallelujah

Today has been a terrible, no good, very bad day. Nothing majorly bad. Just a lot of frustrating things. A rearranged schedule. A squabble with my husband. Not feeling well myself. Fighting with doctors and labs and pharmacies over people who aren't doing their jobs just to get my child the treatments she needs. She's got yet another UTI. I actually made an involved dinner tonight because we had food that needed to be cooked. But now it's just me and kids eating it. (In that case we would have had quick and easy dinner!) Hubby is running late getting home from work which leaves me alone for dinner time and bedtime. 

We are preparing tomorrow for Waverly to go to the hospital to change her g tube for a GJ tube. (More on that in a separate post.)  Even with that, they called and made the time earlier which means we have to leave really early. No good. 

And then the kicker: my oldest comes home from school with a sore throat and fever. And I'm undone. 

I can't handle one.more.thing.

While we are eating dinner, I turned on Pandora. And this popped up:

"Hallelujah, hallelujah

Whatever's in front of me

Help me to sing hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah,

Whatever's in front of me

I'll choose to sing hallelujah."

Heart check. 

Yes, Lord, I hear You loud and clear. I have the choice. And I can choose to sing hallelujah, no matter what is in front of me. 

In the midst of a bad day, of unexpected sickness, of trials and frustrations. On the eve of a procedure and a hospital stay. 

And for me, in the future, when we face the unfathomable reality of losing her, I will have a choice. I will choose to sing hallelujah. It may be through tears. It may be but a whisper. I might only even be able to mouth the words. But Lord, help me to sing hallelujah. 

http://youtu.be/GMhg754ynuo