Thursday, August 11, 2011

Heart Thoughts-"Are they dying her?"


"Are they dying her?" It was an innocent question from a four-year-old who was just trying to make sense of why her baby sister was still in the hospital, with an IV sticking in her head and wires coming out from her. Although she got her wording a bit wrong, I knew exactly what she was asking, and it took my breath away. I could barely speak to answer her, but tried to hold it together so I wouldn't worry her any further. "No honey, they are trying to help her. They are helping her to be able to come home with us soon." I couldn't tell Johnny about her question until much later that night, and I was crying before I even got the first word out. In fact, I couldn't even speak it. It came as more of a whisper.

Many people have asked, or at least wondered, how we are handling this with the older kids (ages 4 and almost 3). The truth is, we aren't sure what the best route is, but we have prayed and sought counsel, and for now feel like we are doing the best we can for them. We are basically taking things as they come. Although there is a general prognosis for Waverly with her condition, we don't want to overload the kids with too much information and all the "what-ifs". Given their ages, we feel it is best to give simple, concise explanations and then answer their questions as they come up. For now, that means occasional questions about her eating (the most obvious thing they notice is different about her), and as she grows, tackling the bigger issues. It's amazing how much they haven't asked yet. Kids are just so accepting that I think a large part of it is that to them, Waverly isn't that different. She may do things a little differently than other babies, but to them, that's just her. We talk often about how special God has made her, and they smile and agree. I know that as she grows, so will they, and therefore their understanding will grow as well. Until then, we are not burdening them with adult news and things too weighty for their little minds to handle. They don't need to bear that load, at least not all at once.

It pains my heart to know the pain that they will experience, though, as reality unfolds and the future uncurls. No mother wants to see her children suffer, whether physically, mentally, emotionally... And to know that they will be facing some tough times breaks my heart. But I know that their lives are richer because of their little sister, and for that I am thankful.

For now, the main thing is that they are simply crazy about their little sister. They are constantly hugging and kissing her, asking to hold her, talking to her, giving her her paci, etc. Every sweet interaction delights my heart, to see how much love they give their little sister. I don't take one instance of it for granted...

4 comments:

  1. Cristen, I love you and am blessed by your strength. We have an awesome God and I lift you up often. Waverly melts my heart. She is precious.

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  2. Kristen, Every time you post a heart message I feel like I really have heard directly from your heart to mine as a mom. You are so precious to me, I am so thankful for the time I had to work alongside you in the after school program. I knew then that you are an extraordinary young woman and that opinion just grows in scope every time I get the chance to "hear" your heart. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers continually.

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  3. Cristen,
    I was amazed at how sweet and gentle the kids where with Waverly when I was down this past weekend. It was beautiful to see how they love her, and how natural they are around her. The kids also seem like they are adjusting quite well, considering all the change. You are doing a fantastic job at something that is just so very, very hard. I am so proud of you-- I have very blessed grandchildren because they have a Mother who is amazing and loves them and looks out for their well being with all that she has.

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  4. Cristen ("My Little Love"),

    I praise God as I see Jesus in you and Johnny. So many things here on earth don't make sense to me. At times things will be okay and other times they will be worse but through it all one thing remains the same...God. He is the same yesterday, today & tomorrow, the Alpha & Omega, the Beginning and the End. He loves each of us with an unfathomable love. Hold tight to Him for He is holding tight to you.

    I love you all!

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